the bestfriend and peanut butter

It's times like these when you get in a really bad mood you realise the small things that really make your life better. Like my bestfriend. And good friends that are normal and don't play games. And peanut butter on rice cakes. Flavoured milk. Zac Efron movies. How I Met Your Mother. A glass of cold water. Exercise. Someone returning your umbrella.

Then there are those times when you're in a bad mood and bad stuff keeps on happening. Like going to 7 Eleven on one dollar day and finding that all the flavoured milk and ice creams and chips are sold out. Then going to another 7 Eleven and having the same thing happen. And the store clerk smiling in joy at the fact you missed out.

But let's focus on the umbrella returning eh?

a good excuse. a perfect truth.

Hey bloggers, I'm back in Melbourne and got back to uni today. Sydney was a blast, best trip I've had to the great city (apart from WYD08 of course). Lot's of shopping, dining, relaxing, walking and living. I got really excited about celebrating Bastille day at Baroque, eating Copenhagen icecream again and going back to my favourite german bakery in Town Hall. I'm currently experiencing withdrawals; Melbourne will have to do for now ;). Here are a couple of happy snaps of my trip >>


The photo on the left is me being really disappointed that I can't open the booth do get in. The after shot shows me in it. Apparently I wasn't pulling the door hard enough.

Sunny day at Darling Harbour. We had the best ice cream in the world at a Swiss parlour. Seriously the best ever. Yes, it might have even been better than Copenhagen ice cream. Shh don't tell them.

That's our two desserts at Baroque Bistro and Bar on The Rocks. Macaroons and the loveliest cheesecake with a white chocolate coating, ice cream and bread crumbs.

Err that's just me walking in The Rocks >

This is me again. On the double deck trains of Syd. We should invest in some of these. This lovely lass is my mother. And the Opera House. Fancy.

I had to take a pic of the dress bellow. It was amazing. You can't tell in the photo but it had heaps of little diamonds on it and the back is cut out and has a huge bow on the lower back. If only it could be mine!

Yes, another one of me. We took a late night stroll in Hyde Park on out first day. Sydney is always a few degrees warmer than Melbourne so a light jacket was all we needed at night. I was suprised.

be right back.

I'm packing my suitcase right now and leaving for Sydney tomorrow morning. YAY. I'll be back in about a week, until then...

How does this make you feel?

I know that I don't know anything.

Do you ever feel superficial? Like you're not being true to yourself? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm not living the way I should be. Like I'm saying or doing things because I think that's what is expected or seems right. To be honest, I don't really even know who the real me is. Where do I begin finding out? If the actions we display shape what we become, does that mean I'm an awful person? I don't always say or think beautiful things, there are bad thought I have that I wouldn't want anyone to hear. Am I the only one? Does a bad thought make me a bad person? Well, I don't think so. But how else can we define the real us? Who am I?

crave

As one of those people enticed back into cooking after watching masterchef, I can't help but notice macaroons keep making appearances on the show. They keep dangling them on screen and I've never even had one! While looking for pictures and recipes, I came across an interesting little paragraph about the experience of eating a macaroon. So the next time I see them, I'm running home with them (the first time I try one shouldn't be my own concoction), pouring myself a glass of sweet wine, putting on some beautiful violin music or Edith Piaf and hop into a bubble bath.

Now you know.

I tire of you all so quickly.

I can't stand your anger, disappointment and stupidity.

All you do is complain about things you could easily change with a bit of positivity.

And then there are those you with hypersensitivity issues.

I say one word and you collapse. I state a fact and you fight back.

Oh and could you select a mode and stick with it?

I never know what I'm going to get.

I greet you with a smile, I get a nod.

I give up and nod at you tomorrow, and you will want to know what's wrong with me!

Perhaps ask yourself the same question.

you and me. and the band.

They're playing billboard in September. They aren't rolling stones popular; actually they arn't even Maroon5 popular, but I'm still keeping my fingers crossed we get tickets. And then I hope we get barrier. I like them a lot. You me at Six.

blah

I. need. a night. out.
Work. Sleep. Eat.
That's all I do.
I. want. to. party.

the journey has just begun

If you listen to this and don't feel IT, then you have a heart of stone.

i prefer video

I was thinking about movies that never get released properly; the ones that slip past any hype and silently make their way to dvd. The lost movies. This thought led me to remember some of my favourite movies from my childhood that were fantastic, but if I were to mention them to another person, they probably wouldn't know what I was on about. So to my lost favourite movies, a salute.

Reach For the Sky (1990)

Romanian; I always watched the english subbed version. Not usually a sport movie kind of person but this one really spoke to me way back. I ordered the VHS at the library so many times, I think I was the only one borrowing it.

Hans Christian Andersen (1952)

Probably an odd choice for a seven year old to hold as a favourite; it's a musical biography based on the life of Danish storyteller Hans Christian Andersen.

The Neverending Story III (1994)

I saw this one before the first two, and I fell in love with it. Dad then borrowed the first two, and I couldn't get through 30 minutes of them. But this one is gold. I bought a VHS I finally found at a carnival sale for 50cents; watching it as an adult, I never realised that a young Jack Black made an appearance!

did you know

That I think about you ever night before I fall asleep. I make sure that my last thoughts are kept for you and only you; to ensure my dreams are filled of us.

the dream

I realized something today. It's strange, because it was so important to me, but I don't think I ever fully appreciated receiving it. I longed for it to the point of crying and worked so hard to attain it. When I got it, I remember being over the moon. No, those are the wrong words. I buzzed. But I never took the minute to thank and be mindful that I was lucky enough to receive what I longed for. Today when I got home, I saw a picture I had placed on my cork board of my goal. I had placed it as a positive reminder for what I was working for. I look at it everyday. But today I saw it. And I finally realized that I was living my dream.

ggg

thankyou.

you're joking.

The long hours of studying for chemistry have fried my brain. I actually find these hilarious.

can i have this moment?

I have a masquerade ball fantasy. I dream about it, it plays out just like a fairytale. Although this one is a little darker than a disney movie. If there is one memory I want to own, it's this one.

to the garden!

maybe it's time for spring to show it's face; don't know if I want these getting dirty

must take my own advice

everything always relates back to pokemon

What makes you feel as though you've stepped back in time, to those days when you were just a kid, worrying about the next trick on the monkey bars and that boy you married in the playground yesterday?(There was Michael, Justin and Joshua. And yes the marriages all lasted a beautiful day. Except Justin; after our honeymoon he married Elaine. He always had a wandering eye that one.) I love it when I experience something from my childhood that makes me forget all my problems and feel intrinsically happy.


Turning on the television in the morning and realising pokemon is on. Experiencing that, I swear I was 9 years old. It felt odd to be a child for a few seconds, but it brought so much joy. That's why children are always so chipper, they have no reason not to be. No worries. Going for a drive to find homes with christmas lights. Waking up in the morning, and being the first one out of bed, the first one to turn on the tv with the house still dark. That takes me back. Random rant. I don't like kids though.

thirsty?

I've found another reason living in Australia isn't satisfying. I'm always a season or two behind on my favourite shows. The third series of True Blood premieres in 8 days for the lucky Americans. Should be a ripper.

walking away from a train station

-

I look up to the sky

And now the world is mine

I've known it all my life

I've made it

I used to dream about

The life I'm living now

I know that there's no doubt

I've made it.

These lyrics inspired me in such a big way today. They hit me like a piano from above, so many answers came to me at once. When I got home after hearing them, I felt so inspired. For the first time in a while I actually wanted to open my chemistry textbook. And I enjoyed completing my study. It was amazing.

alexander rybak

Now, I didn't think I would ever be the "obsessive" type. But there is this guy that is still driving me crazy. And I like it. If I think about him all the time, is it a bad thing?

I do.

walls closing in. no door. no window.

I know I told you all I was finally happy with where I am in my life. And I wasn't lying, life seemed pretty sweet. But to be honest, it wasn't until someone questioned my satisfaction, that I realised it wasn't true. I live in Australia. I have friends. I go to a great University. I'm studying what I love. But I'm not happy. I hate living in Australia. That's the truth. I don't feel like I belong here anymore. The way people behave, dress, eat and love just doesn't connect to the way I feel. I must sound like a snob. I know I'm lucky to live in a country that allows me to live a comfortable life; but let's be honest, the world is getting worse by the year, and Australia is not immune. In fact, I fear it may be the first to go. I don't want to be here. I feel like a bird with it's wings clipped. I'm not the sort of person that will settle for this life. Usually I believe in a "good enough" attitude, but when it comes to the rest of my life, I want something bigger. Or just better. But I don't know what to do about it. And when. The person I am inside is dying under the Australian sun, I can feel the real me fading away.

they will not force us

There is this person in my life. When I met them, I had no ill feelings towards them. In fact, I found their character quite amusing. But one day I just cracked. I think I must have been having a bad day because I was just annoyed at the world. Ever since then, I just feel so annoyed at this person. It's nothing they did to me, but I just can't stand to be near them. Their presence annoys me, their articulation annoys me and everything he does annoys me. I'm being irrational, and I know it. He is nothing but nice to me, but I just can't help but be disgusted by him. If I push myself, I'll blame him for it. The worst part is I think they are starting to notice. And I think they are confused about it. And I'm sorry, but I don't like you.

busy. shh.

It's that time of year. Second only to christmas. Oh, life is sweet.

simple pleasures

I love how small things can lift your spirits in the greatest way. I had an important Chemistry Lab today which wasn't so much hard, more really go go go. Lot's of fumes and reactions going on. So retreating afterwards, tired as usual, I strutted of to our campus centre and spotted a carton of chocolate milk. It was so good. It picked my mood up right away. After two long days, the week is finally going to start easing up. And I can't wait to watch South Park tonight. Marathon. That's what's keeping me going through my study tonight. And another bonus, mum made pancakes for dinner tonight. And I got to have a heart to heart with a lovely friend I thought I wouldn't see today. Tuesday ended up being a pretty fine day, who knew?

in a few words

I'm watching the Formula One Monacco 2010 Grand Prix race as we speak, cheering for Robert Kubica like the fan I am. Other than the inside struggles, not much going on at the moment. A checklist for whats coming up:

* see the titanic exhibition
* mid term exams
* watch skins season 2
* desperation for a trench coat
* get into shape
* study way more in semester 2
* finish 1984, George Orwell deserves better
* see toy story 3
* winter skirts
* awaiting a parcel from Poland

kay xx

skins

Erm, just watch it. That is all.

number three

I chose this photo for it's humour. Turtle's are meant to be slow movers, but this one looks like it's speeding past. Taken at Toronga Zoo in Sydney, Australia.

and I asked why this is happening to me?

Hey there bloggers, I know I've been silent for a while now but I feel like I can't express myself at the moment. I have so many things I want to tell someone, but I have nobody to tell. Well of course I've got my wonderful friends, but I don't think these feelings are for them to hear.

The worst thing about what I'm feeling right now is it's making me confused. Very confused. Then I think there is something wrong with me, but the little part of my heart or whatever it is that's ticking away in there, senses somethings going on. The worst part is I don't think anyone wants to hear it. So, I'll just keep it to myself thank you very much. That is all.

when your heart begins to fall apart

In your youth, you feel like you're invincible. I should know, I'm eighteen. Everything seems to hand itself to you, because life seems a highway. You go in one direction, and you have the option of exiting whenever you make a decision. So I've always been headed from primary school to high school. From high school to University. My life was already chosen somehow. And things were simple, because everyone knew that's just the thing to do with your life. But deep down, I always knew things couldn't stay perfect and unchanging forever. I just wished I could pretend it would. I can see that change is important, for us to grow emotionally as people. But I have to question why in this way. The plan never included losing pieces of myself along the way. Because that's what this person is to me. A piece of my heart. And my soul.

maybe being a robot would be better

I know I've been MIA, but unfortunately my Internet got capped and posting at uni just doesn't feel right.

I've been thinking a lot about emotions recently. Feelings are so beautiful. They let us love, hope, believe and be passionate. I'm so greatful that we as humans can take these emotions and turn them into actions. But just recently I've discovered them to be a nuisance as well. One moment, you're in an awesome friendship; you have a great time together and you mutually agree that you enjoy each others company heaps. Then one half of the friendship has to ruin it all with their feelings and make it awkward to be around each other. Sometimes I just hate emotions. Why do they have to ruin friendships? I mean, what if the feelings are one sided? Why must life be so hard? I can't imagine how many perfectly great relationships have been ruined when one person ends up falling for the other. I guess I'm just trying to figure out what the best way is to go about such a situation. I'm open to ideas.

ice blocks and warm beds

I'm waiting for winter to show it's true colours. None of this sun and warmth nonsense. I want Ice Queen. Blizzards and Storms. Rainy nights in bed and rainy days at university. Running for lecture to lecture in the pouring rain. Hot water bottles in bed to keep from freezing. Please, winter. Show your face. Frighten the damn sun away, please make haste.


Kay xx

it took me a while

You know, this might sound really random and odd, but I have only just realised the value of friendship. I had an epiphany. Having friends really brightens my day. Even when you're just walking aound campus at Uni, walking past someone you know for a qiuck chat is such a boost to your happiness. They make you laugh, they help you when you're feeling like "wtf?" and you really do feel empty without them.
I love friends. I want to collect them and love each one just as much as the other. The special thing about my friends is that they put up with me. They actually want to spend time with me. The fact that you are apart of someones life is just amazing. Think about what it would be like without yours. I don't like to imagine a world without my people.

suprise!

Last night me and a friend went to see Josh Thomas do his thing at the Comedy Theatre. I'd been interested in him ever since his first appearence if "Good News Week". You might also recognise him from "Talking about your generation". He had that boyish charm and ability to make people laugh at him, but with him, making fun of himself. So when the Comedy Festival came around I naturally jumped at the chance to see if he was really funny. And I wasn't disappointed.

The show, Suprise, was centred around his coming out as a gay man. If I had know that was what it was going to be about I might not have gone. I wouldn't think you could get any laughs out of that. But boy was I wrong. He was hilarious, going through his story; he even squeezed in a few pokes at Frankston and Geelong, which we citizens of Melbourne could only understand. And that makes them even better. Although I wouldn't say his show is for everyone, or even his style of comedy, but it manages to reach most audiences with the connection he makes with the crowd. It was refreshing to see him talk to us all, instead of just going on with his agenda. As some late comers tip toed into their seats, he would ask them why they were late and poke a little fun at them for it.

So what would I give "Suprise"? My rating would have to be *** and half a *. Although if I was to rate Josh himself, he would get **** . Great comedian, I think he's really starting to take off.

you lied, they lied, everybody did

So I've been at uni for a good month or so, and I have to admit I'm confused. I mean, they all said University was going to be a blast, all those parties, free days and bludging most of my days away. But the reality is that I don't even get one free day, I have to stay at Uni until 6pm most days and what bludging? The work load isn't that big, sure, but it takes so long to complete just one subject. So when is there time for extra study? I feel like if I take on anymore, I might just be sleeping and working. So, I don't do the extra study I know I should be doing so that I can own some me time.

Sure, the parties are a blast, but they leave you so tired that I feel as though I waste a whole other day recovering from the night before. When I could be using that time to do work I won't have to do later. Now I know I sound like I'm just whining about the "awful" life I have, but it's not all bad haha. The new friends you make, give you reason to attend classes. The old friends you keep give you reason to keep at it all. And your future offers motivation for all the rest.

I just need to remember what I'm there for sometimes. Because although I sound like I'm having the worst time, I really do love it.

Kay xx

i like all the girls and all the girls like me

When people do those things that are huge turn offs. But they don't know it.

*smoke
*get drunk all the time
*talk about how the don't remember their holidays (oh yes, that's how fun they were)
*talk about how they're going to get "pissed" on the weekend
*tell you every single detail of their disgusting life
*keep sighing every two seconds because they're just too good to be there
*keep saying "like" inbetween every word
*wear thongs with jeans or any long pants
*play games. If they do, game over for them.

geek chic

It started with a theme party. Mid semester break. Now I see though glassless specs. And I like.

happy easter retires

Hey everyone. Wanted to wish you all a very Happy Easter! That time of year has come upon us where we eat way to much chocolate, but feel almost no guilt for it. I mean, everyone is doing it right? That's my excuse. I'm a little worse on the chocolate at this time of year since not only is it easter, but my birthday and mum's birthday and a friends, all within a couple of days of eachother. So there's a few cakes, lot's of chocolate and one very full stomache. Oh well, I love it in a way.

Now, as I've turned 18 as of yesterday, I found out some very depressing news. I was sitting on the couch, pleased with the results of my easter egg hunt (yes, I'm a child at heart) when my mum exclaims "that this was the last time the easter bunny was visiting us". The easter bunny has retired. Bye bye bunny. Although it's a little sad to be finally saying goodbye, I'm thinking it's probably time. I would like to thank him for all the years of great service. He's given me many years of tummy aches, and I just hope that those carrots were enough to repay him.

As long as Santa never retires, I think I'll manage to cope. Happy Easter again y'all. Enjoy your time with the family, it's the best part.

Kay xx

look out, I'm old.

So I've been waiting to turn 18 for more than a year now, as I've watched all my friends become legal before my eyes. They all got to go out and have fun, and I was the youngest who stayed away from the fun. Well, that's what my state of mind was then.

Now that I'm turning 18, I realise how lucky I was to be able to do immature and childish stuff with my friends and be a youth, in my youth. Now I have the rest of my life to enjoy the perks of being over 18. On Saturday I join all you "adults" in your world, and look forward to the new things to come.

mood: amazingly fantastic and ecstatic

champion in the making

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm a Formula One Racing fanatic. Big fan. Screaming at the television big. I'm on whatever team Robert Kubica takes residence at. This year, he's moved to Renault. And what a great decision it was. Yesterday, Kubica came a fantastic second place and I couldn't be more proud and happy for him. Nobody can deny he has a very bright and exciting future ahead of him. I hear he is moving to Ferrari next year; one of the top engineers in the competition.

So, I would like to say Congratulations to him. As a fellow pole, this victory couldn't be sweeter. Robert is on the right, in yellow.

in the dark

It's currently about 25 minutes into earth hour, and I'm trying to keep myself occupied. I just found out that apparently replacing lights with candles is just as bad, so I'm not capable of doing anything that requires vision. And I had to sacrifice watching Alice on the tv, since it runs through the hour. Never mind, at least I'm doing my bit. As small a bit as that may be. Lucky my laptop is charged, so it doesn't to be connected to any powerpoints.

I hate having to convince people to join in earth hour. Last year I finally convinced my dad into turning his computer off which usually remains on, all the time. I proceeded to relaxing in the dark. After the first half of the hour I realised he was nowhere to be seen. I went bumping around the house, and found his computer ON. I can't even tell you how mad I was. It's not like I'm forcing him to never use electricity, all I asked for is one tiny hour. Nay, the planet asks for one little hour.

My conclusion is that my father is the reason our planet is the way it is. Well, he adds to the big bad that is the reason.

Then I read this comment on twitter that went like "on earth hour I'm going to turn on all the lights, heat my garage and microwave something for an hour". All I can say is: jerk.

the music to be mused by

I like to experiment with artists, it's just that I have a tendency to over analyse my choices and in the end, I walk out of the shop being totally peeved that I couldn't decide which album to buy. Even when I walk into a music store fully intent on purchasing a certain CD, I end up talking myself out of it. Don't ask me how I do it, but it happens most everytime.

Today I planned on buying Lady Gaga's album, but my mind took over and decided that I didn't need to own it, really. I pondered over the Arctic Monkeys, but I was told to wait. Muse tempted me enough to pick it up, and yet "we" were uncertain. I'm doomed to be musically disabled.

looking at the sky and feeling high

I know I'm being vague.

searching keyword "trench"

in my life there is a time and a place

I was sitting on my bedroom floor. Reflecting on the week, as you do. I realised something wonderful. I can finally say that I am completely happy with my life. Sure, there are those tiny things everyone picks on in their own appearance or relationships; But I am finally satisfied that my life is good. I used to look at other people and think "Why can't I be doing that?" or "When will I get to enjoy those things?". But I see that to each his own time. It's all good. And I like the way things are playing out.

I also love the fact that the big guy up there is winking at me every single day. It's crazy, but he's really there. And he actually speaks back, without words. But when he does, it feels like an inside joke, and I smile and say "thanks", or "good one". I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

kay xx

wonderless

I'm just going to cut to the chase and say that Tim Burton's version of Alice in Wonderland couldn't have been more disappointing. I've had some people say that I just expected too much etc. but I really don't believe that to be the case.

Compared to the Disney and 1999 version of Alice, this really looks quite ridiculous. Firstly, Burton was insane to think a "sequel" to Alice would work on any level. The fact that Alice is a young adult already takes away some of the magic. It doesn't feel right for a 19 year old girl act the way she does. Added to that, Mia Wasikowska doesn't shine in the role that has brought her to fame.

Secondly, the acting is second rate. I do appreciate their usual talent, but unfortunately most performances lacked. However Johnny Depp and Anne Hathaway were exceptional. I have an inkling that if Johnny Depp hadn't joined the cast, the movie would have been a complete flop, with his character bringing all the laughs.

Anne Hathaway did blow me away however, she was the only one that fit into the setting of Wonderland. Other things wrong with the movie? Too much CGI made the movie a little too fake, and made me feel Wonderland is totally unreachable, total change of storyline, that awful "happy jig" Depp performs in the end which appears totally out of context with hip hop music to boot and a very unsatisfying ending. I actually prefer the low budget 1999 version to this peice of movie trash, and their Alice even has brown hair.

Without going on for days, I give the movie **. It would have been one star, however I believe Anne's performance deserves a star of it's own. See it anyway if you're an Alice fan, but wait for dvd. Most definitely not worth the 3D price.

confessions

In the past few days, I think I've become a shopaholic. I've bought three dresses, five tops, a pair of shoes, three pairs of earrings, two pj pants..etc. Usually I would post photos of my new purchases, but there are so many, I'm thinking I'll skip it. The best part is, on one of my shopping trips, I should have spent $300 or so on a Wayne Cooper dress, two Peter Alexander Pjamas and a hat. But on that day, all that left my purse was $26. That just goes to show you, you don't need to spend up big, to buy good quality clothes.

I hadn't gone on a really good shopping trip in a while, and now that I have gone pretty much everyday for a week, I'm sick of it again. Although if the two pieces I've had my eye on in Myer go on sale, I might just have to force myself to go and buy them.

Recent realisation: Febuary is the best month for Shoe sales. Most shops go for up to 75% off.

Now, with all that shopping I still didn't get those things I really need.

1. A new purse. My current one has.. shall we say, seen better days.
2. Sunglasses. I broke my beautiful vintage French pair. I hate it when they find themselves onto the seat I'm about to sit on.
3. A bag. A fairly large one, I need it to carry my university books. I found one, but then I forgot to go buy it on my way out.
4. Casual shoes. Flats, just everyday shoes. Desperate.
5. Jacket. A nice, fitted winter jacket. Wish I could snap one out of gossip girl.

After a big night out, I'm going to bed early. A first for me.

On second thought I probably won't be able to commit to that.

business as usual

---- UNDER CONSTRUCTION----

Hey there guys. My eyes are blue is getting a makeover. I just can't sit still, the look just doesn't seem right. However I'll still be posting, this is just so you don't get freaked out while my blog goes through some ugly. Post Soon.

kay xx

achievement

So I was sitting at home, feeling a little bored. That's when I decided to make something. Anything. Just to feel like I have been productive. So I made a paper crane. It's my first one, and it wasn't as hard as it looks. Then again I did follow instructions. Make one, It makes you feel proud. Here's mine:

Here's the website I used, in case you feel inspired. Good luck xx

http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-a-Paper-Crane

These are amazing, I wish I could make them: